My New Outfits

Why should being plus size keep a person from having fun buying clothes? Why should bigger people be relegated to wearing only dumpy clothes? It doesn't have to be so!

I've pretty much given up on the idea that I can lose weight. At this point I'm only trying not to gain more. But the cheerful, fun-loving attitude of the young, plus-size clerk at the Office Depot and the article I read stating that polls suggest that big people tend to be more charitable than people who are constantly frustrated by starving themselves into thinness (although I think the same would probably apply to naturally thin people who aren't always having to worry about what they eat and anyway, its just an article but it cheered me) I decided that for the time anyway, I don't give a fuck what the rest of the world thinks, I'm fine with being the way I am.

I went into the local Wal Phart (yes, I am mostly-white trash) to pick up a new pair of comfortable pants for work. I found a cute, bright orange warmup suit and a little t-shirt to go with it. I normally loathe shopping for clothes, but I was sort of having fun. I then spotted a scrub top printed with butterflies. I said to myself "that is so ME!"

You will never see this combination in Vogue or any of those other magazines that promote being scarily skinny. You will never see me wearing whatever is "fashionable" because I really don't give a shit what's fashionable. But for the first time in a long time I was able to be happy with the fact that comfortable, loose-fitting clothes are "me." I actually put on makeup this evening. I never wear heavy makeup but I hadn't worn any at all for a long time. Maybe its no big deal, but it kinda makes me feel like I'm taking care of myself.

I know that being bipolar this may just be hypomania. But I like the feeling of being ok with me.