Nutri System Ads

I have actually considered trying the Nutri-System program but on my salary the cost is prohibitive. Coughing up $300 plus all in one fell swoop is a bit difficult. That aside, it sounds like it might actually be pretty good. The ads, however, are about to fall victim to my Snark-O-Meter.
Did ya ever notice how in the ads that are directed at men they mention "sex life," but the men are all dressed in normal clothes and they don't spew the word "sexy" to the point where I want to puke hearing it? In the ads directed at women, half the women are eye candy rather than being real, average women and they're just dying to tell you how sexy they feel. Many of them sound like they lost weight in their brain as well as their body.
"Look at me, I'm in a size 2," gushes one chickie-poo.
"Look at me, I don't give a rare rat's ass," snarks the still size-18 Curmudgeon.
My bone structure means that I couldn't be in a size 2 unless I was close to death from cancer. A size 8 would be way skinny for me. A size 10 would be on the small size of realistic. I really don't want to hear about how chickie-poo can get into a size 2 and I'm sure that a lot of us feel the same way.
And really, must we be forced to look at the babes in bikinis all the time?
These ads are ostensibly aimed at women but your average woman has very little desire to look at babes in bikinis. Maybe they ought to stick some of their male models into Speedos to even things up a bit.
Maybe I'm not average in that I have no desire to be ogled. I don't care about being a babe in a bikini. I would like one day to lose weight. But the word "healthy" appeals to me far more than "sexy." Maybe this is because I'm a "pissed-off old grouch." But it would be nice if the incentive to lose weight for women was focused on health and energy rather than a perceived concept of "sexiness," which usually means a submissive seductiveness or semi-sluttiness.
And that's my shake-down on Nutri-System's advertising campaign.

Amanda UnBoomed: Nicole Richie & Anorexia

Amanda UnBoomed: Nicole Richie & Anorexia

Thank you!!!!
Nicole Richie looks like she's 65 when she's 25. She was NEVER fat. The obsession with stick-skinniness in this country is sick.

Lesson learned--again!

Well, fortunately my weight is back to where it was before I tried that idiot diet I mentioned a couple posts ago. How the hell many times do I have to learn? If it sounds completely impractical, unwise and unhealthy, that's because IT IS!!!! High sodium levels ALWAYS lead to water retention! Duh! It doesn't take a neurosurgeon to know that!
Back to square one. But at least no longer as full of salt as the Dead Sea!

Rework and Retry

That dreadful attempt at a diet made the other day led to nothing but water weight gain and great whining because my blood sugar fell in a hole. As I mentioned in a post at the Psychological Sewer, I was fortunate enough to be able to borrow a can of V-8 from my supervisor, get a banana from the dining room fruit bowl, and find 75 cents to get a pack of cookies. I know that fat people aren't supposed to eat cookies, but with my blood sugar stabilized, I felt a hell of a lot better. Hypoglycemia does affect the mental outlook, there's no two ways about it. And here's the rub--even with eating the cookies, I'm down a pound from yesterday. So there--nyah!
The point I'm wanting to impart is that I came away from this defeating experience with an idea that I hope will lead to at least minor victory. The idea of eating less one day and more the next to kick the metabolism into gear is not a new one. But instead of eating 400 calories worth of very high sodium foods I'm going to try one day with 1000-1200 calories worth of balanced foods (this is where those slim fast things help) and the next day eat normally. This doesn't seem as extreme and may actually work. At any rate, I don't forsee it blowing my feet up like water balloons. I'll let y'all know!
Peace,
The Sweetened Cheesemeister

Terrible Idea!

For the record, this QOD diet has been the world's worst idea as far as I'm concerned. Even though overweight and not able to lose it, my weight has been stable for six months. However, trying this plan which incoporates low calorie but high sodium foods on the fast days alternating with the fact that I tend to binge when I feel deprived, I have gained 4 pounds in the space of one day! Usually even if I have a bad day I gain a couple of pounds which are probably water and lose them within the week. I should have known this was a shitty idea when I was getting charlie horses from my potassium/sodium balance being off.
I've been on this gain two lose two cycle for months now. I am going back to what I was doing before and seeing if there are small, relatively painless changes I can make to my diet that I can stick with. This sucks, Folks! If you are prone to water retention or emotional eating DON'T DO IT!!!! I wish I hadn't! Now I feel even worse when I look in the mirror. It's no wonder my feet have been hurting so much--they're swollen as hell from the excess fluid! And here I sit starving without even a few quarters for the vending machine. Shit, shit, shit!
If you're thin--you're lucky! Count your blessings! I wish I was!
Peace,
Cie

Hate myself

In the never ending quest to lose weight (which is as simple as eating less and exercising more, which is not simple at all!) I decided to try something called the QOD diet. On this diet you eat very little one day and normally the next. I actually did ok on the eating very little day, there was only twice when I was actually tempted to chop off my arm and cook it with some spices. However, the next day I overcompensated. Make that overate. I felt deprived and feelings of sadness and loneliness boiled to the surface.
I know how to do this differently in the future. But I was a miserable failure today. I hate myself when that happens.

The Modeling Industry: Proponent of Eating Disorders

In watching the Janice Dickinson Modeling Agency, it becomes frighteningly evident how the modeling industry teaches women to hate our bodies. Two normal weight women, 5'7" or over in height and weighing 135-140 pounds were told that they were too heavy to be models and were told that they had two weeks to lose the weight. They were told to run twice per day (I believe the amount they were to run each time was two miles) and to curtail their caloric intake. I could have screamed and beaten someone to death with a porterhouse, so outraged was I!
Once upon a time I was 5'5" tall and weighed 130 pounds. I thought I was fat. I developed an eating disorder.
Why are not the aforementioned women the MODEL of what a healthy female should look like?? I think that they are!
The modeling industry is not about modeling health. It is a model of emaciation.
When will we women stop buying the lie??
Peace.

"Nice Person" or "Fat Pig"

Sometimes the hardest thing in the world is being kind to oneself. When I look at people, whatever their size, I see people. Thin or heavy are only attributes such as hair, eye or skin color to me. I enjoy the diversity in people's appearances. However, when it comes to myself, I'm completely brutal. It's very difficult for me to lose weight (and I admit that sometimes my habits aren't the best!) I need to lose 80-100 pounds to be happy with my weight. That isn't to get down to some twig weight like 100 pounds. It's to be at 140-160 pounds. Just so you know that I'm not being unrealistic or trying to look like Nicole Richie. Who, by the way, looks like she's 60 years old! There is nothing wrong with looking 60 when you are 60. There's something wrong with it when you're not even 30. I hope this gal gets help. Being that emaciated is far from healthy!
It is hard for me to look in the mirror and say, "hey, there is Cie, a cool, creative person who loves to write and who tries to win the fight against bipolar disorder every day. Cie wants the world to be a good place for everybody. She wants everybody to have a good time with their life." Good stuff, Maynard. But it's hard for me not to instead say "ugh! You fat, disgusting, unattractive tub of lard!"
What if I'm always overweight? Will it make me a failure as a human being?

Harder...

Eat less and exercise more...
It's harder than ya think, People!
Especially when your genetics are completely against you.
My great-grandmother was 5 feet tall and weighed 300 pounds.
I'm 5'5" tall and weigh 235 pounds. And I'm fighting to keep it there.
When I eat nothing but vegetables and plain chicken breasts, I want to KILL people!
I'm going to try the Nutri System diet when I next get paid.
Unfortunately I haven't had the energy to do more than walk the dogs and a little minor strength training lately. Makes me sad. I used to do all kinds of things. Swim, the machines at the gym...can't afford the gym any more. I'm trying to work the Ab machine back in. Mostly what I want to do when I'm off work is sleep.
I don't give a flying rat's ass about "attracting" anybody. I'm too old, too tired, and way too bitter for that nonsense. I don't have to look like a "supermodel," a Playboy model, a Victoria's secret model, or any other kind of model. I'm just a plain old single mom. And that's ok. But I'd like to be able to look in the mirror without being completely discouraged. That's the only thing I'm shooting for.
Peace.

Better Is Better

With watching myself, I have managed to bring my average daily calorie intake down to 2200 this week from 2400 last week. This is still 100 higher than my current goal of 2100 per day but is, nonetheless, 200 better.
I hate keeping track of what I eat. You have no idea! I like food better than just about everything. I wish I was one of those skinny people with a blast furnace for a metabolism who could stuff anything I fancied into my piehole and chow down without thought! But nooooo! I have to think about whether or not to eat the second cheese stick. Forget it. I can't eat just one of those. So I eliminate something else that I don't like as well from my food list for the day and eat two of them, chopped up, with some baby carrots and a serving of the Snyder's Oat Bran Pretzel Sticks, all drizzled with a couple tablespoons of Italian type dressing. The kind with oil. Because Italian dressing made with water isn't Italian dressing, it's a crime!
That's a pretty good snack, especially for someone who used to sit and eat an entire bag of cheesy puffs or mini chocolate candies or cookies all by her lonesome.
Considering the fact that for a long time I was probably averaging at least 3000 calories a day and have come a long way in just a month, it's discouraging to be losing weight so slowly. Sure, I could starve myself and lose a bunch of water weight and then get hungry, frustrated, and eat a large pizza plus a bag of cheesy puffs plus a couple of huge slices of chocolate cake, but that's the route I used to take and it led me on the path to self-destruction. So I won't do it again. No starvation, no bingeing.
But damn my underactive thyroid, 41-year-old metabolic rate and fat genetics anyway!
My maternal great grandmother was 5 feet tall and weighed 300 pounds for much of her adult life. Many of my female relatives on my mother's side tend to be heavy and also tend to have thyroid problems and depression. So you can see that the Fat Deck is HEAVILY stacked against me!
But so it goes. I'll just keep battling on and maybe someday I'll actually get there. Not skinny. Just acceptable to me.
Peace and Fitness,
The Cheesemeister

Cheesy yesterday
Cheesy today
Cheesy tomorrow

Oh, yak barf!

'Tis a frustrating thing, People, knowing that your appetite will always be a hearty one and your metabolism a shitty one! I must have done some dreadful things in a former life to have been born a person who loves food but for whom even thinking about food can cause me to put on weight!
Let's face, it, this eating several small meals a day bit is tough on someone who was raised to eat three really hearty ones. And in my family food was love. If you didn't chow down like a starving horde, you insulted the cook!
I still have a hard time, especially at dinner. And this week I've been having a hard time keeping my intake at 2100 calories or below. It's been an average of 2400. In part due to craving the infamous simple carb. And then not being able to stop at the recommended serving amount. 7 Ritz crackers??? You gotta be freakin' kidding me! I can easily eat a whole one of those stacks. Especially with sharp cheddar. This was the sort of lunch I had today. Not good. Well--tasty, but not wise. Let's put it that way.
So whenever the diet plan suggests something like hummus and crackers?
Hummus is good for you. But too many crackers, even Triscuits, really stack up the calories. Knowing that I will eat the whole tub of hummus (340 calories) and that I also have a tendency to OD on crackers, I won't put the two together. I'll get a bag of vegetables such as broccoli and carrots, add some celery and cucumber, and have the vegeterian chow-down. Even a huge amount of vegetables isn't damaging. They're damn good for you, so go for it!
I'm learning. But sometimes it's damn frustrating. Probably the last thing to go will be the large dinners. But perhaps I can at least make less fattening choices.
Peace,
The Cheesemeister
Who Will Never Cease Consuming Cheese

The New Slim Fast

People, the new Slim-Fast plan is sensible and it seems like it's actually working for me! Remember the old days when the idea was to replace your breakfast and lunch with a 200 calorie shake, be starving an hour later, and then ravenously consume an entire large pizza all by yourself because you hadn't eaten all day? Fuck the "sensible meal," I was ready to eat a horse, the neighbor, everything on the menu at the local Choke n Puke, whatever might cross my path!
Well, enough other people must have felt that way to prompt Slim Fast to make some excellent changes.
The Optima shakes have far less sugar, so your blood sugar doesn't spike.
You combine the shakes and bars with real, honest-to-God/dess FOOD!
You are eating every 2.5 to 3 hours so you never get Fuck Everything And Eat The Refrigerator Syndrome.
I've gone from 238 pounds to 232 in a week. However, to be honest, on one of those days I only consumed 580 calories. I was very depressed and having trouble making myself eat. So it's kind of a cheat. Without that bad day, I would probably currently be at perhaps 234. To any rate, it seems to be working. As the guy who dove off the top of the skyscraper said on the way down,
"so far so good!"
Peace,
The Slightly Less Chunky Cheesemeister
Who still eats cheese.

Being Myself

Which, right now, is A Large Lady.
Not a Large Lazy Lady.
There is a misconception that large people are lazy. I'm not lazy. I work a full time job. I work out. I take my son to school and activities. I attend school. And I'm working on a novel.
I've always struggled with my weight, but over the last 5 years it has really gotten the better with me. I have always had issues with emotional eating/binge eating. And don't let anyone tell you there's no such thing as a slow metabolism. I am hypothyroid and don't respond to thyroid meds. I produce enough T4, but it doesn't convert to T3. I have a lot of problems with my genitourinary system. I am also on lithium, which caused me to gain about 15 pounds when I started taking it. Why not stop taking it? Have you ever been around a bipolar person who stopped taking their meds? Case closed.
Let me say this. While the weight piled on over the last 5 years, I WAS EXERCISING THE WHOLE TIME! If I hadn't been exercising, I might weigh 500 pounds. I don't know. What I do know is that I've gained 50 pounds in the past 5 years. And it doesn't make me happy.
So what do I weigh? Why, 95 pounds, of course.
Ok, liar! Try 195.
Boy, I even wish that was true. Ok, enough lying. I weigh 238 pounds. And I'm 5'5" tall. If it weren't for the fact that I'm actually reasonably muscular, I would look far worse than I do. And I'm really not thrilled with the way I look. But I'm aware that if not for exercise, it would be far worse.
For those of you who are feeling superior because you aren't overweight and are thinking of leaving a hurtful comment:
Stuff any fat jokes you may be thinking of making up your ass. Believe me, any ripping on heavy people that you may want to do to make yourself feel better about your own inadequacies (like your small brain and lack of tolerance) we have already done to ourselves.
For those people who are nice and weren't thinking of doing such a thing, sorry for the hostility. Sometimes that oozes out from under my normally friendly if snarky demeanor.
I'm trying the new Slim Fast plan. It's much more sensible than the old one. I may be able to stick with it.
Believe me, I refuse to starve or eat anything that tastes like cardboard. Been there, done that. And there will be times that I'll go "off the wagon." When I'm at my parents' house on Sundays, the diet goes out the window. I don't want to have to explain myself or berate myself into passing on the inevitable dessert. Friday nights out with friends can also be difficult, depending on where we go. But if I can tweak my eating habits the rest of the time, who knows?
What frustrates me are the times that I've tried to talk to doctors about my endocrine problems and they tell me that all I need to do is eat less. I really think there's more going on than that. But I will try and stick (for the most part) to this plan. So far it hasn't been too unpleasant. I will keep you informed. Because if this works I will die of happiness.
Hey, they say that diet is DIE with a T on the end, after all...
Wish me luck!
Peace,
The Cheesemeister
Who will still eat cheese.